by Robin Sessoms
It’s a challenge to write about Father’s Day because I had a “Daddy’s girl” kind of a dad. He was my first hug. My first prayer partner. He took me on my first date. He always told me why (and not because I said so.) He taught me how to fish and change the oil in my car. And when I was being overcharged for car parts. And the good you do will come back, just not how you think it will. When my Dad finally got to the point where he could not live alone, I didn’t think twice about moving him in with me. At this point, he was in hospice care; but I could not stop and allow myself to comprehend what that really meant. So every night, after I got him to bed, I would journal about the day: his meds, his disposition throughout the day, what he remembered and what I wanted to remember. See, when a parent has dementia, memories become golden and journaling those memories is your lifeline.
When I read back through those two months worth of captured time, the backdrop of that day comes flooding back to my mind and I am so grateful to have captured that time.
For some reading this, you get the whole Daddy’s girl thing. Like the Ali girls who just laid their Dad to rest, he was the greatest and my Dad was too (smile.) For others of you reading this, your memories and feelings towards your Dad, may be a lot different or even unresolved. I encourage you, whatever you’re feeling or remembering; write about it. By the end, there will be a lesson that you can choose to take with you forward.
Your father may be alive; so celebrate the hero, provider, preacher, teacher, reader, leader, sports fan–who he is to you, but let him know. Take a moment and write that personal note to him and in your journal too and then you’ll always have what your father means to you, not just etched in your heart, but also on paper. I use the TRANSFORMATION: Write + Share + Live journal and guidebook written by my Life Coach Maxine Phillips. I truly thank my coach and friend for the being there, as I am an only child but given the blessing of assisting my daddy as he transitioned to heaven.
“If I could get another chance / Another walk / Another dance with him / I’d play a song that would never ever end” –Luther VanDross said it best. I really wish in part that my Dad were still here just to do one more dance. But I am comforted in that he is not suffering anymore.
Today, take a moment to remember your father, your daddy, and your pops, your granddaddy, your papa or your gramps all for their part in our creation.
Thank you daddy for helping me to get to where I am today!
Like Robin, I encourage you can take the time to write about your father but also tell him. Join us in journaling!
Happy Father’s Day!
I am Maxine Phillips, Life and Career Coach